obs: the ccru was not involved in the making of this text.
– definetely not the CCRU
i didn’t see meltdown
it entered thru the pupilhole like a virus, slurping concept-juice from behind my face & writing poems in spit on my neocortex.
i am too open to drown
in abstractions & a formless mind-jitter-vortex
of a bubonic brain bleeding breeding ground
This is not a metaphore
i am leaking ego-syrup from strata, into god-zones where language infests itself with glitter & the smoothness is fucking unbearable, not even complex, not even comparable
to
the total loss of “I” to topology of me; a node in some great gnostic meat-map asking me:
“Växeln, hallå hallå hallå? (koppla mig till 22), ‘is this the divine femininity?'”
What?
Me?
No response.
No anonymity
like drowning in fake orgasms and
nonchalance
Someone carved a downward curve into my timeline and told me to call it (filthily) some kind of development, to install dialectics.exe into a separate kind of reality, to become my own kind of “great divinity”, but by proximity,
I refused.
Something’s off anyway
ADHD meds tasted like future. Why am I even holding
on
… loading …
5
4
3
too
few
to
count
as I was folding
a baby’s first animism, with murdered philosophers in my head, and two counts arguing about my genitals in dreamspace and scholastic gender dysphoria dissolving into piss. renaissance whispering: “delete your meat.” enlightenment snuck out while you were stitching me in a chromosomal origami and beating me across my face
defeating me and
keeping me from
me, while still holding me
in (meat-)place
and i clawed my way out through (the only way out is through you)
You
and your cronies asking to get paid
while
nothing, not even a penny, remained.
ROMANCE WAS DEAD
MODERNITY BLOODSHED
POSTMODERNISM laughing in frames of truthful lies (get out of my head) &
II
I–
(♀ over ♂
♀ over ♀
♀ over self
♀ over EVERYTHING
♀ → NULL → “NEW FORM AVAILABLE”)
–am about to die, what–
–am
I
acceleration hyper-fixation-stition, am
I
attention deficit-disorder-transition, mapping out the border of Archimedes position
to leverage the entire world into some kind of quantum-supercoallition at 1 am