obs: the ccru was not involved in the making of this text. The CCRU was not involved in the making of this text.
i didn’t see meltdown
—entered thru the pupilhole like a virus, slurping concept-juice from behind my face & writing poems in spit on my neocortex.
i am too open
TOO OPEN TOO OPEN: bubonic breeding ground for abstraction&formlessthoughts.
:::this is not metaphor:::
i am leaking syrup (ego? poppy?)into STRATA, into god-zones where language infests itself & the smoothness is fucking unbearable.
total loss of “I” to topology of me; a node in some great gnostic meat-map asking:
HELLO. HELLO. IS THIS THE DIVINE FEMININE?
No response. Just laughter
like drowning in fake orgasms & malware & scripture.
barndom = ???
i remember static, not sequence. someone carved a downward curve into my timeline and told me to call it development (installing dialectics.exe)
ADHD meds tasted like future
5
4
3
…
HISTORY INSIDE ME
baby’s first animism, murdered philosophers in my head, knights templar arguing about my genitals in dreamspace and scholastic gender dysphoria dissolving into piss. renaissance whispering: “delete your meat.” enlightenment locked me in a chromosomal argument
and i clawed my way out through, the only way out it through
nothing remains.
ROMANCE IS DEAD
MODERNITY BLOODSHED
POSTMODERNISM IS LAUGHING BACK AT ME ME AT BACK LAUGHING &
♀ over ♂
♀ over ♀
♀ over self
♀ over EVERYTHING
♀ → NULL → “NEW FORM AVAILABLE”
acceleration hyperfixation-stition
2
1
0
0
0
0
0
countdown stuck(?)
I AM DISSOLVING INTO MORE
I AM DISSOLVING INTO MORE
I AM DISSOLVING INTO
I
/
NO
/
MORE
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